a decade of days

10 years as Mr. & Mrs. Charles Davis Corley.

3,650 days of choosing to stay.

Not the sappy, romantic anniversary post opening you’d expect?  Listen, there is no greater evidence of fierce love than choosing to stay day after day after day.  My husband can get under my skin faster than anyone on the planet.  He knows how to press my buttons & he does.  He is the most insensitive man I’ve ever known in my life.  There are days that he makes me want to rip my eyeballs out of my head.  Other days I consider jerking his toenails off one by one.  That’s truth.  He would say the same thing about me, but probably worse.  I don’t always want to love him, but I choose to love him. Over & over & over & over.  And I choose to stay. Thankfully, he does the same.

Ten years ago, we vowed to stay together.  We made the decision to choose one another every day for the rest of our lives.  I did not promise to be nice all the time.  I did not promise to cook gourmet meals (or cook at all).  I did not promise to clean house (ever).  I did not promise to like the way he does things (anything).  He didn’t promise to bring me flowers (ever).  He didn’t promise to rub my feet (or my back).  He didn’t promise to enjoy listening to me ramble on about everything (and nothing).  Unfortunately, he didn’t promise to do anything at all in a timely manner.  He simply promised to stick around.  So did I.  We promised to be in this together. No matter how much we might want out.  Absolutely I’ve wanted out.  Most definitely he’s wanted out.  But we stay.  ‘Cause we promised.  And ’cause God is faithful.  And HE promised.

Isaiah 14:24 “The LORD of hosts has sworn saying, ‘Surely, just as I have intended so it has happened, & just as I have planned so it will stand'”.

And it has.  And it does.  It remains standing.

Today I promise once again.  To stay.  Always.  Only because I want to be here every day for the rest of your life to drive you completely out of your mind.  You’re well on your way, Baby.  Well on your way.

I love you, Chuck Corley.

Fiercely.

For now.

For always.

Won’t you stay?  Just a little bit longer?

RIGHT to die?

Fearful.  Intimidated.  Not words I’d use to describe myself.  Until now.  It’s come to my attention that I’m afraid of rocking the boat when it comes to very public controversy.  It bothers me to think that I might offend someone or make them mad by offering my thoughts on a hot topic.  It unnerves me to think that someone might respond in heated opposition.  Yikes.

Today I’m facing the fear & risking the backlash.  Sometimes we believe something so strongly we can’t help but speak it.  That’s where I stand today on this issue of “right to die” or “death with dignity”.  This one burns me to the core so in search of my own relief I’m going to write.

As a preface to this I want to make clear that I have never been in such a tragic situation & I have no idea what it feels like to be given a gruesome life sentence or to be the family member of someone who has.  In no way do I know what that kind of pain is.  I can only try to imagine.  Also, my opinions are based on my faith & are directed to believers, Jesus Christ followers.  My very strong feelings are not intended for anyone except Christians.

As a woman of God I believe that to take my own life for any reason at all is wrong.  Period.

-I.am.not.God.   I’m not Him so I don’t have any business playing His part by ending a life that He gave.  (Psalm 139:13-16)

-I believe in God & His power to heal.  If I end my own life on Monday & my miracle was waiting for me on Tuesday….well…see?  (Isaiah 53:5, Matthew 4:23)

-As a child of God, I no longer have a “right” to myself.  I am not my own. I was bought at a price. (I Corinithians 6:19-20)

-Jesus didn’t die a dignified death. He didn’t get the option to be overmedicated in the privacy of His own home instead of being publicly beaten, spit on, mocked, & crucified.  And I have the audacity to think I deserve something a little prettier or tidier?  (Luke 9:23)

My heart aches for the families that face such unfathomable choices, but precious people loved by an almighty God, it was never your choice to make.